My grandma used to say I had a mind like the bottom of a birdcage, so toilet humour is right up my alley.

Lately though, I’ve been working on big, complicated tech projects. The kind that would break most writers.
And while I can do it (and do it well), it’s not where my heart is.

Humour – that’s my jam. Especially the kind that makes you snort-laugh out loud. That’s why I would love to write for Who Gives a Crap, with that beautiful, butt-cheeky style with a good cause behind it. The kind of humour that makes people giggle while reminding them they’re part of something bigger (and less crappy).

I know I can do it (and do it well). In fact, to prove I’m not full of… well, you know… I’ve included a few writing samples below. They’re not written on recycled toilet paper, but they’re close.

Bendo

Mini Crate

Somewhere – quite possibly Switzerland – exist miniature cows, delicately milked to fill those tiny porcelain jugs found at fancy high-teas. This results in mini milk crates that can house anything from pens to miniature cow-grooming accessories. And they’re available in a range of colours.

Bunch

Bananas are the gymnasts of the fruit family. They swing acrobatically from trees, always one soft landing away from becoming inedible. This banana stand protects from bruising while allowing air circulation to assist in ripening. It’s low-hanging fruit at its best.

Wipe

Who’s to blame when the toilet paper roll is left empty? Studies show it’s the toilet roll rack for lacking engagement. Never again as man, child and dog race to adorn this aesthetically-appealing structure with reams of extra soft butt napkins. Roll up, roll up.

Woof

If dogs could talk, they would omit words such as ‘diet’ or ‘when’. There’s no limit when it comes to nourishing pooches as a general rule, the amount of food in equates to the amount of love out. Just kidding – be a responsible dog owner and feed your pooch appropriately. Steak on Tuesdays. Fillet mignon Fridays. They’ve earned it.

Plant (tall)

Give your vegetation a new sensation, with a plant stand that takes indoor gardening to a whole new level. It’s like stilettos for shrubs, ladders for lettuces, or like standing on the shoulders of greenery. For pot plants who like to live large.

In keeping with a givi

Bendo

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