Hi Vanessa,
My grandma used to say I had a mind like the bottom of a birdcage, so toilet humour is right up my alley.
Lately though, I’ve been working on big, complicated tech projects. The kind that would snap most writers in half. And while I can do it (and do it well), it doesn’t exactly make me flush with joy.
Humour – that’s my jam. Especially the kind that makes you snort-laugh out loud. That’s why I would love to write for Who Gives a Crap in that beautiful, butt-cheeky, witty-with-a-wink style that has a fantastic cause behind it.
And while I know I can do it, to prove to you I’m not full of… well, you know… I’ve included a few writing samples below.
I would love the opportunity to be your Copy Director and that’s the bottom line.
Bendo
Mini Crate
Somewhere – quite possibly Switzerland – exist miniature cows, delicately milked to fill those tiny porcelain jugs found at fancy high-teas. This results in mini milk crates that can house anything from pens to miniature cow-grooming accessories, available in a range of colours.
Bunch
Bananas are the gymnasts of the fruit family. They swing acrobatically from banana plants, always one soft landing away from becoming inedible. However, this handy stand protects from bruising while allowing air circulation to assist in ripening. It’s low-hanging fruit at its best.
Wipe
Who’s to blame when the toilet paper roll is left empty? Studies show it’s the toilet roll rack for lacking engagement. Never again as man, child and dog race to adorn this aesthetically-appealing structure with reams of extra soft butt napkins. Roll up, roll up.
Woof
If dogs could talk, they would omit words such as ‘diet’ or ‘when’. There’s no limit when it comes to nourishing pooches as a general rule, the amount of food in equates to the amount of love out. Just kidding – be a responsible dog owner and feed your pooch appropriately. Steak on Tuesdays. Fillet mignon Fridays. They’ve earned it.
Plant (tall)
Give your vegetation a new sensation, with a plant stand that takes indoor gardening to a whole new level. It’s like stilettos for shrubs, ladders for lettuces, or like standing on the shoulders of greenery. For pot plants who like to live large.
Ideas often spring from small, universal truths.
You ask your partner if they want their own pie. They say no. You check again. Still no. Yet the moment your pie arrives, you hear those dreaded words, “Can I have a bite?”
We’ve all felt the frustration of sharing the one thing we were clearly meant to enjoy solo. If you wanted a pie with a bite missing, you would have asked for one.
This idea aims to solve that problem.
Creation of an internal advertising agency social club.
Establishing the tone of voice for a small-town discount store.
Vodafone
You’ve just touched down in Australia after a marathon 24-hour flight. With little sleep, plane food on your shirt and no idea where the exit is, it’s nice to get a crash course on the local lingo.
Appearing inside every major Australian airport, these Vodafone billboards assured weary travellers that by choosing the world’s only truly global network, they’d be talking like a local in no time.
Work aside, my way of giving back is as editor of the Malmsbury Mail, a quarterly publication that raises money for the Malmsbury community.
